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Restaurant Reviews

La Brasserie du Louvre

(of the Hôtel du Louvre)

Place du Palais Royal

Paris

Tel: 0033 1 42 96 27 98 (although no need to book)

By Lucy Hopkins

As happens from time to time, you find yourself a little adrift for your Parisian lunch in the 1^st arrondissement.  Shopping in Les Halles and window shopping in picturesque Place des Victoires have hijacked your restaurant time, and as a result, Chez George, ‘the critics’ bistro’, have arrogantly turned you away.  Mais ne vous inquietez pas.  Le Brasserie du Louvre will loom ahead as a very welcome and welcoming finish-line, as you glide the length of the Jardins du Palais Royal, the mini Tuilleries, to where it opens up onto Place Colette and Place du Palais Royal.

Unlike most superior dining establishments in the city, this brasserie is always at your beckon call (from 12-12 every day), without asking you to compromise on quality, exclusivity or location.  The table cloths are so starched to perfection that you will need sunglasses- just do not look at the stained ones underneath, and the atmosphere is giggly and dotted with large gaggles of ‘ladies wot lunch’ and Louvre-Rivoli hoppers with weary legs.  It is a central and traditional brasserie; the specials boards are deliciously illegible due to the twirly French scrawls all over them, and you are even obliged to balance your coats and pashminas on the line of meticulously polished raised brass racks above your head, which are reminiscent of old-style clickety South West Trains.  The waiters have all the time in the world for you, which makes this the ideal place for ‘ladies wot talk’ and those who have successfully adopted the relaxed, chivvy-free French mentality.  It does mean that things certainly take their time, so make sure you are enjoying your conversation and your wine and that you do not have an impending theatre engagement to attend to.  If you do, there is always McDonalds, which I must tell you is fantastic in Paris Opéra, with state of the art screens, MP3 players at every table, beer, and a mouth-watering salad line.

Beneath their immaculate and sparkling dressings, the majority of the tables of Le Brasserie du Louvre are terminally wobbly.  However, said wobble (and the ministrations of the dutiful waiting staff to remedy it) may prove hysterical and serve to shape the entire meal- metaphorically, or literally if your Beaujolais is spilled as a result, forming an artistic pink frame around your plate.

Total cliché to say this, but, honestly, always go for one of the ‘formules’ which include 25cl of Coteaux de Lyonnais wine and coffee (two courses for 28 euros and three for 33 if you have not eaten for 24 hours, which is pretty impossible in Paris).  Amusingly, there is also a “Diet Menu” for 25 euros which people tend to glance over extremely hastily, then pretend, with a feeling of guilt, that they have not noticed it there as it is ‘so minutely typed at the bottom’.  Dedicated dieters are expected to enjoy their grapefruit juice, chicory and walnut salad, steamed codfish and asparagus and minty fruit salad.  Another quirk is their dedication to ‘catering’ for children…  The English translation, on a separate menu, coins this formule “The Budding Chefs’ Menu”.  It costs 12 euros and comes complete with a personal chef’s hat!  My budding buddy, Emilemily, and I had our hearts set on acquiring one of these coveted fashion accessories for ourselves, but somehow, when looking at our waiter (who had just emerged from his wobble-stopping under the table), we just, could not find the nerve, even if it had been in the name of Paris chic…

Emilemily, herself a chef, dictated that a Caesar salad really should accompany our starters or main courses as it is the perfect barometer by which to gage the entire cuisine.  Let it be known that the generous platter it relates to left the chef-turned-critic absolutely at a loss for words, apart from telling me it was the best ever.  Bacon replaced chicken, and rarely is there just the right quantity of dressing that is not too acidic nor fishy.

Even at this point, we were convinced that the hotel’s chef, Roland Desbois, and well-turned-out-if-slightly-forgetful team, had excelled themselves and our expectations.  As well as the seafood assiette (incredibly fresh; the oysters on their ice-bed really do squirm and shudder when you maliciously squirt them with lemon juice), the best of the starters’ boasts is the smoked salmon blini.  It may sound bizarre to have the thick slices of beautifully coloured salmon, crème fraiche, pine kernels and tarragon on what is fundamentally a large, round bacon, watercress and mushroom omelette, but when you think just how delicious scrambled egg is with chopped smoked salmon in it, the taste perfection begins to be understood.  The breakfast blini was boss; totally imaginative, totally filling, and certainly sparked a heated discussion as to ‘what defines a nut and is a kernel a nut or more of a fruit?’

By the main course, Emilemily and I had definitely categorised the dishes as those that could either be eaten or hung on the wall.  My codfish wrapped in bacon on a wild rice bed with garlic ‘carbonara’ sauce followed the trend set by that salmon starter, but Emilemily’s juicy lamb-of-perfection with its rosemary potatoes really did redefine lamb-of-perfection with rosemary potatoes.  Arrive hungry, as it is impossible to leave many a morsel un-munched.

The bill will astound you by its reasonableness, and the location may seem too banal, mainstream obvious for most trendy ‘Go here, it’s undiscovered!’ guidebooks, but if you have been lost in the petrifying maze that is Le Louvre for hours this bright and breezy brasserie is a God-send x.  Send me a write-up on your impression of the puddings- we just could not manage anything else…

To mark the multinational clientele, foreign bank notes are pinned above the bar, however, you will have to have come form an extremely distant land to be able to contribute with originality.  The next time I visit, I will arm myself with Monopoly money and watch their faces.  I could not spot any Scottish pound notes either so there is a summons and a challenge for any fish-loving Scots.

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